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Download porn videos of adultery spouses

Download porn videos of adultery spouses

Download porn videos of adultery spouses

Kendra Lynn is manning the phones at work. The day has been slow and no one has booked an appointment yet. When Alex More walks into the reception area, Kendra can`t believe how sexy she looks in her red lingerie. Alex asks if anyone`s coming in, but Kendra informs that that`s not the case. Unable to keep their hands to themselves, the girls figure that maybe they could kill some time together. The girls lean on the front desk and start kissing, Alex starts playing with Kendra`s clit, rubbing it quickly as Kendra cums. Kendra is eager to return the favor and proposes that she give Alex a Nuru massage. Alex couldn`t be happier as the girls walk hand in hand into the back room. Unbeknownst to both of them, the janitor, Lucas Frost, is cleaning the back room. When he hears voices talking in the distance, he gets nervous and hides in the Jacuzzi. As Alex lies down, Kendra pours oil all over her perfect body. Lucas looks on and can`t help but get hard as the girls dyke it out in front of him. He starts jerking off but moans a little too loudly; Alex hears him. He tries to get up to leave but the girls pull him down on the mat. They rip off his clothes, then pour oil on his body and start jerking him off. They then start blowing him. The girls are calling the shots here, and with the whole day to themselves, it looks like it`s time to teach this peeping janitor a lesson he`ll never forget.

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In England and Wales, a divorce can only be obtained when a marriage has irretrievably broken down and it can be proved by at least one of five specific facts, set out in the divorce petition. Adultery is one of the five facts that can be used to prove a marriage has broken down irretrievably, and it seems to be pretty common. According to one study, more than 50 per cent of married men and 26 per cent of married women are likely to stray at least once during their marriage. Today, by coincidence, I saw a new client whose wife had been advertising for a quick fling on a website catering for illicit affairs between married people. A quick look at the website in question was eye-opening! There are hundreds of married people, of both sexes, advertising for casual sex with strangers. The potential for divorce when an unsuspecting spouse turns on the family computer and finds the incriminating evidence, as in my client’s case, is pretty substantial. But is it sufficient to found a petition based upon adultery? This is a relatively straightforward area of family law. However it causes confusion because people think the term is wider than it is, when in fact it is precisely stated in law. In order to obtain a divorce on the basis of adultery, an adulterous act must have taken place and the Petitioner must state that he or she finds it intolerable to continue to live with the Respondent. There are many common misconceptions about adultery and divorce. Yesterday I appeared in my Legal Clinic on ITV This Morning, discussing the subject. There were plenty of questions from viewers, and you can watch the clip here . Here, then, are my ten top adultery myths: 1. That adultery covers any sexual activity. It does not. It refers only to sexual intercourse between a consenting man and woman, one or both of whom are already married to other people. Lesser forms of “sexual gratification”, as one court put it, are not sufficient to prove adultery. Had Bill Clinton said, “I did not commit adultery with that woman” of Monica Lewinsky, rather than “I did not have sexual relations with that woman”, he would have been correct. 2. That it isn’t adultery if you have already separated from your spouse.  If your spouse has sexual intercourse with another while married to you, it is adultery. But in order to petition for divorce, you have to establish not only that adultery has taken place, but also that you find it intolerable to live with your spouse. If you have already separated the first part is correct, but the second is not. [UPDATE: Please also see the comment from John Bolch of Family Lore , at the bottom of this post.] 3. That it isn’t adultery if you are already divorced. It is still adultery, if the other party is still married to somebody else at the time. And if one party has been raped, is under 16 or if consent has been obtained by fraud, sexual intercourse in any of those circumstances is not adultery. Also according to the law, sexual intercourse with one wife in a polygamous marriage is not adultery, as far as another wife in the same marriage is concerned! 4. That it is adultery if it is an extra-marital relationship with a person of the same sex. In law, adultery only applies where there has been sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. An extra-marital relationship between two people of the same sex is considered an improper association. A petition for dissolution of a civil partnership can be filed on the basis of unreasonable behaviour instead. 5. That adultery before marriage will still count if you learn about it after the marriage.  A partner who has been unfaithful before the marriage has not committed adultery. It is only considered to be adultery if it continues after the marriage has taken place. 6. That if you find it “intolerable” to continue to live with your spouse, it has to be linked to the adultery cited. This is not necessarily the case. For example, adultery may have been the final straw or chapter in a history of unpleasant behaviour. 7. That it is a good idea to name the Other Woman or Other Man on the divorce petition. You may desperately wish to do this and publicly name and shame the other person. It is not, however, a legal requirement. If your spouse has admitted to adultery, there is no need to name the third party. Yes, doing so may make you feel better – but it will complicate matters, increase costs all round and risk incurring the judge’s disapproval. My advice is always to act with dignity and concentrate on other issues in the divorce such as the children and finance. You can still seek the costs of the divorce suit (although not finances and children matters, which are separate) from your spouse. There will be the petition fee (£340), the decree absolute fee (£45) and your lawyer’s fees, if you instruct one. 8. That the third party’s finances will be used to “pay off” the other spouse. This won’t happen. That said, it is worth noting that a new partner’s financial means might be indirectly relevant in relation to a spouse’s finances post-divorce, and his or her ability to meet the former spouse’s needs. 9. That if you have committed adultery, the court will be biased against you when dealing with the finances and the children. This is not the case. Most marriages break down because of fault on both sides. Adultery can be a symptom of a failing marriage, rather than its cause. One way of counterbalancing the petition is not to defend it, but to file a statement explaining why you believe the marriage broke down before the adultery occurred. Prince Charles took this course of action, very publicly, during his divorce from Princess Diana. 10. That if you petition for divorce on the basis of adultery, you are entitled to a larger settlement. You aren’t. Adultery alone is not regarded by the court as conduct which would be inequitable to disregard. Conduct that is “gross and obvious” would affect a divorce settlement. For example, I once had a case where the wife repeatedly stabbed the husband and left him with serious incapacity for life. That fell into the gross and obvious category, and her settlement was reduced. As I pointed out on ITV This Morning, divorce isn’t about subjecting individuals to “trials”. Instead, it’s about drawing a line and enabling both of you to move on into the future. And finally: bear in mind that after learning of adultery, you have only six months to issue a divorce petition. Once that time is up, you cannot use the adultery to divorce your spouse and you will be regarded as having “condoned” it. Please do remember this, because my experiences with clients who come to me years later, because they have never been able to truly forgive, bear out the old joke. A wife may agree to forgive and forget, but she will never forget what she forgave…

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I’ve heard it said that there are men who don’t look at porn, and then there are men who are breathing. If recent surveys are any indication, porn use has become the norm among men, not the exception. Still, I get a lot of questions from women who are feeling the heartbreaking impact of porn on their marriages. To them porn feels like cheating, and for good reason. I understand why many don’t think this is true (reasons I’ll address below), but first it is important that I define some terms. By “using porn” I don’t mean merely seeing it. It’s hard not to walk about in public places or go online without seeing something that is at least meant to titillate the eyes of men. When I say “using” I mean intentionally taking porn in through one’s senses with the intention of being turned on and then, most likely, masturbating or at least getting sexually aroused. By “cheating” I mean that using porn is breaking a vow—either implicitly or explicitly—made to one’s spouse. This is because marriage is, in part, about sexual exclusivity; it is about “forsaking all others.” Take some steps with me down a morally slippery slope. Step 1: Let’s say I were to visit a prostitute and have sex with her. That would be cheating on my wife. I assume no one would debate me on this point. Step 2: However, let’s say that when I met with the prostitute we didn’t actually touch each other: I just watched her have sex with someone else while I masturbated in the same room. (Weird, I know. But just go with it.) Would that be cheating? Both in this case and in the previous case I am seeking the services of a prostituted woman for sexual pleasure—seeking out and enjoying the body of a woman who is not my wife in order to be sexually gratified. Could a man rightly say, “Yes, I pleasured myself in front of a hooker, but we didn’t touch each other. I stayed faithful to you”? I don’t think so. The pretense of no physical contact doesn’t matter because the action still violates the spirit of the sexual exclusivity. Step 3: However, let’s say I didn’t visit the prostitute in person but only interacted with her online through erotic video chat. Let’s say I masturbated during the chat session while using the video image as the source of my fantasy. Is this cheating? Has the lack of physical proximity suddenly changed the situation that it is no longer breaking my marriage vow? I don’t think so. Step 4: Now let’s say that instead of engaging in the video chat live, the prostitute recorded herself for me so I could masturbate at my convenience. Is this still cheating? Am I now suddenly remaining faithful to my marriage vows because someone hit the record button? No. That’s just stupid. Step 5: Now let’s say the prostitute has a business card with a fancy title on it: “Pornographic Actress.” She even has a website with a resume listing of all the films she’s been in. Her pimp—I mean, agent—pays taxes and everything. Totally legit. Let’s say I reach out to this prostitute and pay her to view her recorded videos which she gladly sells me. Is this cheating? Does the change in title and the veneer of professionalism change the nature of the act? No. Step 6: Now let’s say that this entire enterprise is industrialized so that this woman is part of a large network of other prostitutes who are doing the same thing. Much like walking into a brothel, I can pick the woman I want when I want, pay my fee, and enjoy her body for my lustful purposes. Is this cheating? What about the industrialized nature of the product changes the nature of the act? Nothing. And on this last step we have arrived at what the modern porn industry is. This is why using pornography is cheating. It is engagement with a digital prostitute despite one’s vow to forsake all others. I can hear the screeching of mental breaks right about now. Many are thinking, “Wait a second. Something major has shifted between the first scenario and the last. No one sees porn as digital prostitution. If this was the way our culture understood porn, it might be one thing. But very few people who watch porn go online thinking, ‘I can’t wait to get sexual gratification from a digital prostitute.`” This is a good objection. After all, motive and intention count for something when it comes to the promises or vows we make. If I sign a contract saying I will not share proprietary information from my employer, but then forward a work e-mail along to a friend, not knowing it counts as “proprietary,” I’m not guilty of intentionally breaking my promise (even if my employer has grounds to fire me). Someone who uses porn might think along the same lines: “I’m just watching video clips made by actors and actresses, not intentionally seeking digital interactions with a prostitute.” I agree, but motives only carry some of the weight when it comes to our moral decisions. The above slippery slope is not as much about motives as it is about the nature of the actions. Behind the making of pornography are real people really selling themselves for the sexual gratification of viewers. The medium doesn’t change the fact that a prostituted woman was used for her body and sex appeal, no matter the viewer’s understanding of the act. This is why so many women say using porn feels like cheating: the act of seeking out another woman for sexual pleasure—even if she is hidden behind a veil of pixels and a sleazy acting agency—is not a movement towards faithfulness, but away from it. However, by saying that using porn is breaking a marriage vow, I am not prescribing a specific reaction we should have to it. The six-step slippery slope presents six different scenarios, each having their own gravity of offense. They may all be cheating, but they all show different levels of intensity. We need to turn the tables on those who ask, “Is using porn cheating?” and address why it matters. For some, when they ask, “Is using porn cheating?” they bring a lot of baggage with the question. They think, “Since porn is cheating, I can never forgive you.” “Since porn is cheating, I have grounds to divorce you—and I will.” “Since porn is cheating, I will lash out and cheat on you.” These dispositions are, quite frankly, completely separate issues to address. To say a man has broken his marriage vow by seeking out porn is one thing. To say that he cannot be forgiven, that he should be divorced, or that he deserves revenge are other matters altogether. For others, when they ask, “Is using porn cheating?” they simply want their spouse to know that when they said, “I do,” they expected a spirit of monogamy. Yes, the world is full of sexual temptations. Yes, they know their spouse is full of hormones and attracted to other people walking about in the world. But they expected to be the focus of their spouse’s sexual energy, attention, and devotion. When they vowed to “forsake all others,” that is what they promised and what they expected in return. Two facts lie at the heart of the issue. First, people often desire the perks of marriage, but marriage vows are not taken seriously. As such, we find ourselves straddling two worlds. In one world, we embrace an idyllic picture of finding “the one,” growing old together, loving and serving another person until death we do part. In the other world, we enjoy the convenience and self-centeredness of solo-sex in front of the computer screen. These two worlds mix like oil and water in our miry hearts. Before long, you will either have to abandon pornography or abandon a genuine spirit of monogamy. Second, people have been blinded by the sense of distance the digital world places between ourselves and the real world. We believe something doesn’t count as much if it is “online” or “on television” or “just fantasy.” We rename offenses: stealing becomes downloading, cruelty becomes speaking one’s mind, and exploitation becomes entertainment. We have settled for what Chris Hedges calls an empire of illusion. “Pornography does not promote sex, if one defines sex as a shared act between two partners. It promotes masturbation,” Hedges writes. “It promotes the solitary auto-arousal that precludes intimacy and love. Pornography is about getting yourself off at someone else’s expense.” If your husband (or wife) is engrossed in porn, you are right to feel like this is cheating. He is defrauding you of something that should be your exclusive domain. You are not a prude for thinking this. You just take your vows seriously, as everyone should. But where do you go from here? Start by getting educated about the addictive nature of pornography and the steps other couples have taken to take a new direction. Read, “ 6 Common Questions Asked By Wives of Porn Addicts .” Luke Gilkerson served for eight years as Covenant Eyes` Educational Resource Manager. Luke has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of  Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust Through Biblical Accountability and  The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality . Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com Did you catch your husband watching porn? Learn the answers to common questions, tips to productive conversations, steps to setting boundaries, and how to determine the next steps for your marriage. I agree with the fundamental concept you address: viewing pornography violates the sanctity of marriage. It moves away from intimacy versus moving towards it, every time. There is a recurring motif on this website of employing theatrics. In a round-about way, you admitted this in a separate comment for an article on this website that covered this idea from the adultery angle. Articles with spooky Halloween font on the photos, titles and premises saying porn is cheating, porn is adultery, or comments saying digital prostitution, he is defrauding you, etc. – all of these may feel true to many, especially the spouses harmed. But I think you’re doing a disservice to those seeking help and betraying the spirit of help you aim to offer by using these theatrical and dogmatic techniques designed to illicit strong (and negative) emotional responses. Fear, outrage – these are the easiest emotional responses to illicit in an audience. Topics of fear are children (i.e. “Protect your children”). Then there is the topic of sex. Mix together and you have your 10 o’clock news. Pornography addiction is an epidemic and software services such as yours are helpful for many. It’s disheartening to see the accompanying articles with surface-level language that moves towards fear and outrage, instead of moving away from it. Don’t be another news channel. You can validate, empathize, and support emotions and thoughts of husbands and wives struggling with this without using haughty rhetoric. Become the center of neutral, objective, evidence-based solution for the millions in search of answers and support. You can do this. We need it.

My name is Roger.* I used to work in your conference before I had to leave the ministry. It wasn`t be cause I lacked success. I lost my ministry because I did the unthinkable. There is no nice way to put it—I left my spouse for another woman. I committed adultery. After the emotional equivalent of a nuclear holocaust, I learned some important lessons. Now with some time passed, I feel compelled to tell my story. I think perhaps it might prevent others from doing what I did. During my ministry I wrote some articles for Ministry. This almost certainly will be the last one. I can group my thoughts into three areas. First, what happened and why. Second, the results of what happened. And third, how the church responded to what happened. I intend to be honest. Some of what I have to say may not be agreeable, but bear in mind I am speaking from experience and from my heart. No one in his or her right mind wakes up and says, "Today looks like a great day to commit adultery and destroy my marriage." It`s infinitely more subtle than that. I married quite young, priding myself that I could beat the statistics against teen marriages. You see, I`m the kind of per son who has a big enough ego that I hate to admit weakness or defeat. That in turn feeds directly into the pressure every minister faces. We need to look good, not just from nine to five but every minute of every day. We learn to come across as a near-perfect friend, counselor, parent, and spouse. People expect it of us, and we often come to expect it of ourselves. I believe this creates a unique kind of job stress that helps cause breakups in pastoral families. Looking back, I see that the marriage I had before committing adultery had many foundational cracks I simply chose to ignore. My spouse at that time was quite different in personality from me. Often we had a hard time relating. Certainly, better attempts at communicating through those barriers at an early stage might have prevented what happened. However, when you have yourself convinced that you have the strongest marriage of anyone you know, it`s all too easy to ignore the problems. Little irritations that remain unaddressed don`t go away. They just build in the subconscious and make one vulnerable to temptation. This, I am sure, was a major factor in what happened to me. The second part of the equation was a friendship that grew over the years. Frankly, it was the deepest friendship I had ever known. At first, there was no romantic involvement with this woman. It was just that here was a person to whom I could say something anything and feel completely understood and accepted. That`s a great thing. Everyone should have that kind of friendship at least once in a lifetime. Further, I don`t feel that that kind of soul-mate friendship needs to occur strictly between spouses. The problem for me was that after several years I began to have feelings of romantic love toward this person. How did I deny there was a problem at that point? Easy. I simply convinced myself that there was no way my friend felt the same toward me. Thus, ignoring the possibility that she was also in love with me, I continued the friendship as usual. Indeed, there came a point where I began to hurt inside over my desire to be with this person, but still I denied there could be any real danger. Then one day I discovered that she felt exactly the same toward me as I did toward her. That was ground zero. My life would bear little resemblance to sanity for some time. As I look back on why things happened, two lessons are obvious. First, we need to admit to ourselves that there is no near perfect marriage. Those little things in our spouse`s personality that we can`t relate to need to be addressed. We must talk them through and achieve resolution. If we can`t handle it ourselves, then we need to get professional help. In my case, my ex-spouse, my friend, her husband, and I eventually went to counseling. But it was too late. We simply can`t afford to put off dealing with problems we see in our marriage. The second lesson has to do with friendships with the opposite sex. Ninety-nine percent of the time I feel there is no problem. However, looking back, I see two red flags that I was blind to. From the moment I met my friend, I found her attractive. That`s neither good nor bad. Almost every church has members that are physically attractive. But upon dis covering how well she and I related to each other, I should have backed off. The other red flag was when I realized I was beginning to view her as more than a friend. Rather than hiding behind the thinking that there was no way she could have similar feelings, I should have assumed she did. Thus, for me, preventing the all-too-often divorce/remarriage situation boils down to self-honesty. If there is some kind of dissatisfaction in one`s existing marriage, it needs to be addressed, not ignored. And, if feelings toward a member of the opposite sex arise, we need to admit them to ourselves and perhaps even to a trusted friend. Having admitted those feelings, we need to take action to prevent them from deepening. What were the results of my actions? In a word, unimaginable. Oh, sure, I had given a great deal of thought before hand to the implications of leaving my existing marriage. I knew there would be guilt. I knew the kids would be deeply affected. I knew many people would be shocked. I knew I would lose my job (my denomination has no recovery program for ministers who divorce and remarry). However, anticipating the consequences paled in comparison with experiencing the reality of what happened. I mentioned guilt. I had never known a sense of self-loathing such as followed in the wake of breaking up my family. I had never been prone to depression, but suicidal thoughts became almost a daily occurrence. Looking back, I realize that without God`s intervention I probably wouldn`t have lived through those early days. And my kids? They were indeed hurt. Devastated, in fact. As they grow up they will encounter problems. Most kids do. Like any parent, I pray their skirmishes with puberty and the temptations of the world will be minor. But to the degree they do have problems, it will be all too easy to beat myself up inside and say "It`s all my fault." Sure, in my head I know that`s not being entirely fair to myself. I should tell myself that those problems might have occurred anyway—but then, I will never know for sure. Were people shocked? Oh yes! Ninety percent of the people I thought of as friends stopped talking to me. I remember going to an annual church rally a couple years after the breakup. I saw some people I knew fairly well, looked in their faces, and said hello. They turned away as if I didn`t exist. Do you know what it`s like to hold out your hand to an official church greeter and have him refuse to shake your hand? I do. Yes, it brings back guilt. It also causes hurt and anger. You want to grab people and shout, "Hey, I didn`t divorce you! I still want you as a friend!" I now find myself cynical to ward those I once thought were close to me. I prize those few rare friends who during that most difficult time said, "We don`t understand what`s going on, but we love you and want you to know we care for you no matter what." Did I lose my job? In a heartbeat. There was even an attempt to use a loop hole to deny me severance pay (money desperately needed by my former wife and the kids as well as myself). Unemployed. You know all that hype we as pastors get about how much money we could make if we used our skills in the business world? Hype is about all it is. Try marketing yourself on the strength of a degree in theology. I did manual labor for a while. It was hot, dirty, and dangerous work. It wasn`t all bad, though. Physical labor makes for good therapy. I also gained a new appreciation for the blue-collar workers who make this country run. Then I worked for a church member for a while, until he tried to cheat me out of several hundred dollars. That wasn`t all bad either. It opened my eyes to the fact that folks at church who are all dressed up in their "Sunday best" can become very different creatures when they step into the office Monday morning. The bottom line is that I went from being a successful pastor of a large church to being just another guy looking for a job. Any one of these consequences of my sin would make for a major life crisis. Put them all together, and the stress load was crashing beyond belief. Time heals. But looking back, I realize that without God`s gentle hand, I simply would not have survived. So how did the church as an institution react? In a way that makes me ashamed of it. Not just for myself, but for all those who have made the same kind of mistakes I did. I expected the loss of my job. But I didn`t expect that I would cease to exist as far as our state conference governing body was concerned. It was like dropping off the face of the earth. I had served on committees, worked together for years with various members of the conference staff. In some cases I was instrumental in getting them elected to the office they held. I never heard from them again. At a time when I needed to be ministered to as never before—and I let that fact be known—I was ignored. That hurt a great deal. I felt like the racehorse with the broken leg whose life ends with a bullet. I was no longer an asset. Therefore, I was no longer worth anyone`s time or trouble. As far as membership goes, mine was dropped. There was no contact. No one addressed the issue with me. In fact, no one even bothered so much as to tell me. I found out by accident about six months after the fact. Even as a pastor, I disliked the premise of disfellowshipping. Indeed, I can say in all truthfulness that I never allowed a person in any of my churches to be dropped from membership who wanted to remain a part of the church, regardless of his or her faults. Thus, to be discarded without so much as a phone call hurt a great deal. Earlier I discussed a number of things I know I should have done differently. Now I will mention a few things the church needs to consider doing differently. First, conferences need to have a recovery program in place to minister to pastors who have problems whether such problems involve marital breakups, chemical dependency, or whatever. I would go so far as to say it is a sin when a church organization "amputates" a worker and then makes no attempt to help that individual heal. The same goes for the church in general. Dropping someone from church membership who is in emotional trauma does not heal anyone or anything. Obviously the church needs to respond in some way. But I`m not sure that "shooting our wounded" is the best way. You see, when someone commits a major sin, that person knows it. He or she also feels the hurt that the sin itself brings. Thus, a church that merely leaps to its feet and screams "You sinner, you need to be punished" is not accomplishing much. In fact, after being outcast, I learned there exists a large underground of former members who love and believe the teachings of the church. Yet they stay away because they cannot feel at home in a church where they sense they are neither accepted nor forgiven. Please don`t think for one minute that I am saying we should not call sin by its right name. We must. Sin is sin. What I am saying is that, instead of shunning the erring one the church needs to be Christlike enough to say "Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more" (John 8:11, NKJV). By my own doing, I went through hell and put a lot of people I care deeply about through hell. The realization of what I had done put me lower than I had ever felt before. At that lowest point, to be blunt, it felt like my church kicked me when I was down. By God`s grace I hope no one in any church ever has to feel that way again. My plea to the church and its leadership is that whenever a minister falls (or any member, for that matter), we need to reach out to that person. Even if such a person is removed from the payroll or from membership, we need to be far more caring, far more loving, far more gentle. We need to be far more Christlike. As a postscript, how am I doing now? Better. God heals. Time heals. I know I will carry emotional scars for the rest of my life. But, the pain has abated. Having remarried, I love my new wife very much. Adversity drew us closer together. Further, I have found work I enjoy and have been able to use my pastoral skills now and then to help out friends on a casual basis. And, oh yes, we have a church home in the same denomination in which I once served as a minister. Truth is, we were very, very close to leaving the church until we visited our present particular congregation. Why did we stay? Because from the day we walked through the front door, they accepted us for who we were rather than condemning us for what we had done. No one said, "Shame on you for breaking up two families and causing so much trouble." Instead they genuinely said, "We`re glad you`re here—be sure to come back next week." We did. I want to thank that church. I want to thank the pastor of that church. Above all, I want to thank the God who breathed into that church the gift of unconditional love. May all of us come to know that gift in our hearts. 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Statistics show addiction to Internet pornography is seen as a cause of Tennessee divorce more and more.   While the internet has greatly contributed to greater access to knowledge and information, as with all good things, there is as downside as well.  Internet addiction, pornography addiction in particular, has become a growing problem which can often lead to divorce.  If you are considering divorce because your spouse has an internet porn addiction, you should consult with an experienced Tennessee family law lawyer to get counsel regarding the laws relating to divorce and how to proceed with your case. Although you may be feeling ashamed and hurt by your spouse’s internet pornography addiction, you should know that the problem is quite common.  According to the Center for Research on Marriage and Religion, pornography is a “quiet family killer”, possibly contributing to adultery and playing a role in 56 percent of divorces.  This confirms the observations of most divorce attorneys.   Two-thirds of divorce lawyers at the 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers noted that online porn addiction had increasingly become a factor in more than half of the divorce cases they handled. This should not come as a surprise considering the staggering statistics related to online pornography.  There are 4.2 million porn websites which account for 12 percent of all website visits and 25 percent of all search engine requests.  Every day there are 2.5 billion pornographic emails sent or received, amounting to 8 percent of all emails.  Forty-two percent of internet users admitted to viewing online pornography, and forty million U.S. adults admitted to regularly visiting pornography websites, with 10 percent acknowledging that they have an internet sexual addiction.  Furthermore, it is not just the men who are viewing online pornography, since 1 in 3 pornographic website visitors is female. But is the problem pornography itself, or is it the addiction to it?  This is not an easy question to answer, for it is a matter of personal values and beliefs.  However, any addictive behavior can create relationship problems. Although time spent online can sometimes be productive, compulsive internet use can detrimentally affect a person’s life. Destructive online behavior which can lead to divorce can take the form of an online sex addiction which involves the compulsive use of internet pornography and/or adult chat rooms which negatively impact real life intimate relationships.  When you spend more time online than you spend with your spouse, inevitably it is going to take a toll on the relationship, eroding the trust and intimacy over time. Many married people are disgusted by their spouse’s obsession with pornography and may even consider it a form of adultery, which eventually prompts them to seek a divorce.  But how does an internet pornography addiction affect a divorce case?  While your decision to divorce may be justified, if you are seeking a no-fault divorce, your spouse’s pornography addiction will not likely have any legal impact on property distribution or alimony awards in your case. However, one type of claim in child custody cases, involves the allegation that one parent routinely engages in improper or compulsive sexual behavior on the internet. The improper and compulsive sexual behavior may be sexually explicit chats with other adults or compulsive viewing of adult pornography. In a few extreme cases, the improper behavior may involve viewing child pornography, in which case the parent may face actual criminal charges. Nevertheless, even if illegal viewing of child pornography is not at issue, if the allegation of internet porn addiction is proven to be true, a parenting evaluation may be requested to determine whether or not the problematic behavior of the parent negatively impacts his or her parenting ability or the safety of the child or children involved in the custody case. A comprehensive parenting assessment can be conducted through interviews with the children and parents, review of self-report questionnaires completed by the parents, and review of any relevant collateral information.  The following considerations should be addressed: Is there a documented history of emotional or physical neglect of the child/children due to the parent’s preoccupation with internet pornography? Does the parent invest so much time, effort, and energy into their internet sexual addiction that his or her relationship with the child/children is or has been impaired? Have the children been exposed to non-sexual high risk situations through inattention due to the parent’s internet pornography addiction? Has the parent exposed the child/children to sexual material or situations? Has the parent taken any security precautions to prevent exposure of the child/children to sexual materials? Has the parent made or is willing to make any behavioral changes? Regardless of the reasons for the break-down of a marriage, a divorce is always an emotional and difficult experience to endure.  You will need support to help you through this trying time, so reach out to friends and family.  Because there is so much shame surrounding internet porn addiction, you may wish to confide in a licensed counselor who is knowledgeable and experienced in this type of problem.  Take solace in knowing that your spouse’s internet sex addiction is not your fault, and that you are not alone. Finally, as is case with any legal issue, you will also need the assistance of an experienced and competent lawyer to advise you on the law and guide you through the legal process in order to protect your rights.