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17 External linksEtymologyThe spelling of woman in English has progressed over the past millennium from wfmann 2 to wmmann to wumman, and finally, the modern spelling woman. 3 In Old English , wfmann meant female human, whereas wr meant male human. Mann or monn had a genderneutral meaning of human, corresponding to Modern English person or someone however, subsequent to the Norman Conquest , man began to be used more in reference to male human, and by the late 13th century had begun to eclipse usage of the older term wr. 4 The medial labial consonants f and m in wfmann coalesced into the modern form woman, while the initial element wf, which meant female, underwent semantic narrowing to the sense of a married woman (wife).It is a popular misconception 5 that the term woman is etymologically connected to womb. Womb is actually from the Old English word wambe meaning stomach (modern German retains the colloquial term Wampe from Middle High German for potbelly). 6 7Biological symbolThe symbol for the planet and goddess Venus or Aphrodite in Greek is the sign also used in biology for the female sex. 8 It is a stylized representation of the goddess Venuss hand mirror or an abstract symbol for the goddess: a circle with a small equilateral cross underneath. The Venus symbol also represented femininity , and in ancient alchemy stood for copper . Alchemists constructed the symbol from a circle (representing spirit ) above an equilateral cross (representing matter ).TerminologyFurther information: girl , virgin , mother , wife , goodwife , lady , maid , maiden , and widowWomanhood is the period in a human females life after she has passed through childhood and adolescence, generally around age 18.The word woman can be used generally, to mean any female human or specifically, to mean an adult female human as contrasted with girl. The word girl originally meant young person of either sex in English 9 it was only around the beginning of the 16th century that it came to mean specifically a female child. 10 The term girl is sometimes used colloquially to refer to a young or unmarried woman however, during the early 1970s feminists challenged such use because the use of the word to refer to a fully grown woman may cause offence. In particular, previously common terms such as office girl are no longer widely used. Conversely, in certain cultures which link family honor with female virginity , the word girl is still used to refer to a nevermarried woman in this sense it is used in a fashion roughly analogous to the obsolete English maid or maiden. Referring to an unmarried female human as a woman may, in such a culture, imply that she is sexually experienced, which would be an insult to her family. citation needed There are various words used to refer to the quality of being a woman. The term womanhood merely means the state of being a woman, having passed the menarche femininity is used to refer to a set of typical female qualities associated with a certain attitude to gender roles womanliness is like femininity, but is usually associated with a different view of gender roles femaleness is a general term, but is often used as shorthand for human femaleness distaff is an archaic adjective derived from womens conventional role as a spinner, now used only as a deliberate archaism muliebrity is a neologism (derived from the Latin) meant to provide a female counterpart of virility , but used very loosely, sometimes to mean merely womanhood, sometimes femininity and sometimes even as a collective term for women. citation needed Menarche, the onset of menstruation , occurs on average at age 1213. Many cultures have rites of passage to symbolize a girls coming of age , such as confirmation in some branches of Christianity , 11 bat mitzvah in Judaism , or even just the custom of a special celebration for a certain birthday (generally between 12 and 21), like the Quinceaera of Latin America.HistoryThe earliest women whose names are known through archaeology include:Neithhotep (c. 3200 BCE), the wife of Narmer and the first queen of ancient Egypt. 12 13Merneith (c. 3000 BCE), consort and regent of ancient Egypt during the first dynasty . She may have been ruler of Egypt in her own right. 14 15MeritPtah (c. 2700 BCE), also lived in Egypt and is the earliest known female physician and scientist . 16Peseshet (c. 2600 BCE), a physician in Ancient Egypt . 17 18Puabi (c. 2600 BCE), or Shubad queen of Ur whose tomb was discovered with many expensive artifacts. Other known preSargonic queens of Ur (royal wives) include Ashusikildigir, Ninbanda, and Gansamannu. 19Kugbau (circa 2,500 BCE), a taverness from Kish chosen by the Nippur priesthood to become hegemonic ruler of Sumer , and in later ages deified as Kubaba.Tashlultum (c. 2400 BCE), Akkadian queen, wife of Sargon of Akkad and mother of Enheduanna. 20 21Baranamtarra (c. 2384 BCE), prominent and influential queen of Lugalanda of Lagash . Other known preSargonic queens of the first Lagash dynasty include Menbaraabzu, Ashumeeren, Ninkhilisug, Dimtur, and Shagshag, and the names of several princesses are also known.Enheduanna (c. 2285 BCE), 22 23 the high priestess of the temple of the Moon God in the Sumerian citystate of Ur and possibly the first known poet and first named author of either gender. 24Shibtu (c. 1775 BC), king Zimrilim s consort and queen of the Syrian citystate of Mari . During her husbands absence, she ruled as regent of Mari and enjoyed extensive administrative powers as queen. 25Biology and sexSpectral karyotype of a human femalePhotograph of an adult female human, with an adult male for comparison. Note that both models have partially shaved body hair.In terms of biology , the female sex organs are involved in the reproductive system, whereas the secondary sex characteristics are involved in nurturing children or, in some cultures, attracting a mate. The ovaries , in addition to their regulatory function producing hormones, produce female gametes called eggs which, when fertilized by male gametes ( sperm ), form new genetic individuals. The uterus is an organ with tissue to protect and nurture the developing fetus and muscle to expel it when giving birth. The vagina is used in copulation and birthing, although the term vagina is often colloquially and incorrectly used in the English language for the vulva or external female genitalia, which consists of (in addition to the vagina) the labia , the clitoris , and the female urethra . The breast evolved from the sweat gland to produce milk, a nutritious secretion that is the most distinctive characteristic of mammals, along with live birth. In mature women, the breast is generally more prominent than in most other mammals this prominence, not necessary for milk production, is probably at least partially the result of sexual selection . (For other ways in which men commonly differ physically from women, see man .) citation needed During early fetal development, embryos of both sexes appear genderneutral. As in cases without two sexes, such as species that reproduce asexually , the genderneutral appearance is closer to female than to male. A fetus usually develops into a male if it is exposed to a significant amount of testosterone (typically because the fetus has a Y chromosome from the father). Otherwise, the fetus usually develops into a female, typically when the fetus has an X chromosome from the father, but also when the father contributed neither an X nor Y chromosome. Later at puberty, estrogen feminizes a young woman, giving her adult sexual characteristics. citation needed An imbalance of maternal hormonal levels and some chemicals (or drugs) may alter the secondary sexual characteristics of fetuses. Most women have the karyotype 46,XX, but around one in a thousand will be 47,XXX , and one in 2500 will be 45,X . This contrasts with the typical male karotype of 46,XY thus, the X and Y chromosomes are known as female and male, respectively. Because humans inherit mitochondrial DNA only from the mothers ovum, genetic studies of the female line tend to focus on mitochondrial DNA . citation needed Whether or not a child is considered female does not always determine whether or not the child later will identify themselves that way (see gender identity ). For instance, intersex individuals, who have mixed physical andor genetic features, may use other criteria in making a clear determination. At birth, babies may be assigned a gender based on their genitalia. In some cases, even if a child had XX chromosomes, if they were born with a penis, they were raised as a male. 26 There are also transgender and transsexual women, who were assigned as male at birth, but identify as women there are varying social, legal, and individual definitions with regard to these issues (see trans woman ). citation needed The Life Age of Woman Stages of Womans Life from the Cradle to the Grave,1849Although fewer females than males are born (the ratio is around 1:1.05), because of a longer life expectancy there are only 81 men aged 60 or over for every 100 women of the same age. Women typically have a longer life expectancy than men. 27 This is due to a combination of factors: genetics (redundant and varied genes present on sex chromosomes in women) sociology (such as the fact that women are not expected in most modern nations to perform military service ) health impacting choices (such as suicide or the use of cigarettes , and alcohol ) the presence of the female hormone estrogen , which has a cardioprotective effect in premenopausal women and the effect of high levels of androgens in men. Out of the total human population in 2015, there were 101.8 men for every 100 women. 28Woman nursing her infantGirls bodies undergo gradual changes during puberty, analogous to but distinct from those experienced by boys. Puberty is the process of physical changes by which a childs body matures into an adult body capable of sexual reproduction to enable fertilisation . It is initiated by hormonal signals from the brain to the gonads either the ovaries or the testes . In response to the signals, the gonads produce hormones that stimulate libido and the growth, function, and transformation of the brain, bones , muscle , blood , skin , hair , breasts, and sexual organs. Physical growth height and weightaccelerates in the first half of puberty and is completed when the child has developed an adult body. Until the maturation of their reproductive capabilities, the prepubertal, physical differences between boys and girls are the genitalia , the penis and the vagina. Puberty is a process that usually takes place between the ages 1016, but these ages differ from girl to girl. The major landmark of girls puberty is menarche, the onset of menstruation, which occurs on average between ages 1213. 29 30 31 32Most girls go through menarche and are then able to become pregnant and bear children . 33 This generally requires internal fertilization of her eggs with the sperm of a man through sexual intercourse , though artificial insemination or the surgical implantation of an existing embryo is also possible (see reproductive technology ). The study of female reproduction and reproductive organs is called gynaecology . 34HealthFurther information: Womens health and Maternal deathPregnant womanWomens health refers to health issues specific to human female anatomy. There are some diseases that primarily affect women, such as lupus . Also, there are some genderrelated illnesses that are found more frequently or exclusively in women, e.g., breast cancer , cervical cancer , or ovarian cancer . Women and men may have different symptoms of an illness and may also respond to medical treatment differently. This area of medical research is studied by genderbased medicine . 35The issue of womens health has been taken up by many feminists , especially where reproductive health is concerned. Womens health is positioned within a wider body of knowledge cited by, amongst others, the World Health Organisation , which places importance on gender as a social determinant of health. 36Maternal mortality or maternal death is defined by WHO as the death of a woman while pregnant or within 42 days of termination of pregnancy, irrespective of the duration and site of the pregnancy, from any cause related to or aggravated by the pregnancy or its management but not from accidental or incidental causes. 37 About 99 of maternal deaths occur in developing countries. More than half of them occur in subSaharan Africa and almost one third in South Asia . The main causes of maternal mortality are severe bleeding (mostly bleeding after childbirth), infections (usually after childbirth), preeclampsia and eclampsia , unsafe abortion, and pregnancy complications from malaria and HIVAIDS . 38 Most European countries, Australia, as well as Japan and Singapore are very safe in regard to childbirth, while SubSaharan countries are the most dangerous. 39Reproductive rights and freedomA poster from a 1921 eugenics conference displays the U.S. states that had implemented sterilization legislationReproductive rights are legal rights and freedoms relating to reproduction and reproductive health . The International Federation of Gynecology and Obstetrics has stated that: 40(...) the human rights of women include their right to have control over and decide freely and responsibly on matters related to their sexuality, including sexual and reproductive health, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. Equal relationships between women and men in matters of sexual relations and reproduction, including full respect for the integrity of the person, require mutual respect, consent and shared responsibility for sexual behavior and its consequences.Violations of reproductive rights include forced pregnancy , forced sterilization and forced abortion .Forced sterilization was practiced during the first half of the 20th century by many Western countries. Forced sterilization and forced abortion are reported to be currently practiced in countries such as Uzbekistan and China. 41 42 43 44 45 46The lack of adequate laws on sexual violence combined with the lack of access to contraception andor abortion are a cause of enforced pregnancy (see pregnancy from rape ). citation needed Culture and gender rolesMain article: Gender roleA woman weaving. Textile work is traditionally and historically a female occupation in many cultures.In many prehistoric cultures, women assumed a particular cultural role. In huntergatherer societies, women were generally the gatherers of plant foods, small animal foods and fish, while men hunted meat from large animals. citation needed In more recent history, gender roles have changed greatly. Originally, starting at a young age, aspirations occupationally are typically veered towards specific directions according to gender. 47 Traditionally, middle class women were involved in domestic tasks emphasizing child care. For poorer women, especially working class women, although this often remained an ideal, specify economic necessity compelled them to seek employment outside the home. Many of the occupations that were available to them were lower in pay than those available to men. citation needed As changes in the labor market for women came about, availability of employment changed from only dirty, long hour factory jobs to cleaner, more respectable office jobs where more education was demanded, womens participation in the U.S. labor force rose from 6 in 1900 to 23 in 1923. These shifts in the labor force led to changes in the attitudes of women at work, allowing for the revolution which resulted in women becoming career and education oriented. citation needed During World War II , some women performed roles which would otherwise have been considered male jobs by the culture of the timeIn the 1970s, many female academics, including scientists, avoided having children. However, throughout the 1980s, institutions tried to equalize conditions for men and women in the workplace. Even so, the inequalities at home stumped womens opportunities to succeed as far as men. Professional women are still generally considered responsible for domestic labor and child care. As people would say, they have a double burden which does not allow them the time and energy to succeed in their careers. Furthermore, though there has been an increase in the endorsement of egalitarian gender roles in the home by both women and men, a recent research study showed that women focused on issues of morality, fairness, and wellbeing, while men focused on social conventions. 48 Until the early 20th century, U.S. womens colleges required their women faculty members to remain single, on the grounds that a woman could not carry on two fulltime professions at once. According to Schiebinger, Being a scientist and a wife and a mother is a burden in society that expects women more often than men to put family ahead of career. (pg. 93). 49Movements advocate equality of opportunity for both sexes and equal rights irrespective of gender. Through a combination of economic changes and the efforts of the feminist movement, specify in recent decades women in many societies now have access to careers beyond the traditional homemaker .Although a greater number of women are seeking higher education, their salaries are often less than those of men. CBS News claimed in 2005 that in the United States women who are ages 30 to 44 and hold a university degree make 62 percent of what similarly qualified men do, a lower rate than in all but three of the 19 countries for which numbers are available. Some Western nations with greater inequity in pay are Germany, New Zealand and Switzerland. 50Violence against womenA campaign against female genital mutilation a road sign near Kapchorwa , UgandaBurning witches, with others held in StocksA young ethnic Chinese woman from one of the Imperial Japanese Army s comfort battalions is interviewed by an Allied officer.The UN Declaration on the Elimination of Violence against Women defines violence against women as: 51any act of genderbased violence that results in, or is likely to result in, physical, sexual or mental harm or suffering to women, including threats of such acts, coercion or arbitrary deprivation of liberty, whether occurring in public or in private life.and identifies three forms of such violence: that which occurs in the family, that which occurs within the general community, and that which is perpetrated or condoned by the State. It also states that violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women. 52Violence against women remains a widespread problem, fueled, especially outside the West, by patriarchal social values, lack of adequate laws, and lack of enforcement of existing laws. Social norms that exist in many parts of the world hinder progress towards protecting women from violence. For example, according to surveys by UNICEF , the percentage of women aged 1549 who think that a husband is justified in hitting or beating his wife under certain circumstances is as high as 90 in Afghanistan and Jordan , 87 in Mali , 86 in Guinea and TimorLeste , 81 in Laos , and 80 in the Central African Republic . 53 A 2010 survey conducted by the Pew Research Center found that stoning as a punishment for adultery was supported by 82 of respondents in Egypt and Pakistan , 70 in Jordan , 56 Nigeria , and 42 in Indonesia . 54Specific forms of violence that affect women include female genital mutilation , sex trafficking , forced prostitution , forced marriage , rape , sexual harassment , honor killings , acid throwing , and dowry related violence . Governments can be complicit in violence against women, for instance through practices such as stoning (as punishment for adultery).There have also been many forms of violence against women which have been prevalent historically, notably the burning of witches , the sacrifice of widows (such as sati ) and foot binding . The prosecution of women accused of witchcraft has a long tradition, for example witch trials in the early modern period (between the 15th and 18th centuries) were common in Europe and in the European colonies in North America. Today, there remain regions of the world (such as parts of SubSaharan Africa, rural North India, and Papua New Guinea) where belief in witchcraft is held by many people, and women accused of being witches are subjected to serious violence. 55 56 57 In addition, there are also countries which have criminal legislation against the practice of witchcraft. In Saudi Arabia , witchcraft remains a crime punishable by death , and in 2011 the country beheaded a woman for witchcraft and sorcery. 58 59It is also the case that certain forms of violence against women have been recognized as criminal offenses only during recent decades, and are not universally prohibited, in that many countries continue to allow them. This is especially the case with marital rape . 60 61 In the Western World, there has been a trend towards ensuring gender equality within marriage and prosecuting domestic violence , but in many parts of the world women still lose significant legal rights when entering a marriage. 62Sexual violence against women greatly increases during times of war and armed conflict , during military occupation , or ethnic conflicts most often in the form of war rape and sexual slavery . Contemporary examples of sexual violence during war include rape during the Bangladesh Liberation War , rape in the Bosnian War , rape during the Rwandan Genocide , and rape during Second Congo War . In Colombia, the armed conflict has also resulted in increased sexual violence against women. 63Laws and policies on violence against women vary by jurisdiction. In the European Union , sexual harassment and human trafficking are subject to directives . 64 65Clothing, fashion and dress codesWomens clothing varies highly in different cultures. From left to right: Afghan women wearing burqas , Japanese women wearing kimonos , and German women in casual tank tops and miniskirts .Further information: Fashion , Modesty , Clothing , and Hijab by countryWomen in different parts of the world dress in different ways, with their choices of clothing being influenced by local culture, religious tenets traditions, social norms, and fashion trends, amongst other factors. Different societies have different ideas about modesty . However, in many jurisdictions, womens choices in regard to dress are not always free, with laws limiting what they may or may not wear. This is especially the case in regard to Islamic dress . While certain jurisdictions legally mandate such clothing (the wearing of the headscarf), other countries forbid or restrict the wearing of certain hijab attire (such as burqa covering the face) in public places (one such country is France see French ban on face covering ). These laws are highly controversial. 66Fertility and family lifeFurther information: MotherA world map showing countries by total fertility rate (TFR), according to the CIA World Factbook s 2015 data.78 Children
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Share this articleShareWhile Im no Elle Macpherson, Im tall, slim, blonde and, so Im often told, a goodlooking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.If youre a woman reading this, Id hazard that youve already formed your own opinion about me and it wont be very flattering. For while many doors have been opened (literally) as a result of my looks, just as many have been metaphorically slammed in my face and usually by my own sex.Im not smug and Im no flirt, yet over the years Ive been dropped by countless friends who felt threatened if I was merely in the presence of their other halves. If their partners dared to actually talk to me, a sudden chill would descend on the room.Taken: Samantha with her French husband Pascal Rubinat. Ten years her senior, he takes great pride in hearing other men declare that shes a beautiful woman and always tells her to laugh off bitchy commentsAnd it is not just jealous wives who have frozen me out of their lives. Insecure female bosses have also barred me from promotions at work.And most poignantly of all, not one girlfriend has ever asked me to be her bridesmaid.Youd think we women would applaud each other for taking pride in our appearances.I work at mine I dont drink or smoke, I work out, even when I dont feel like it, and very rarely succumb to chocolate. Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room.Take last week, out walking the dogs a neighbour passed by in her car. I waved she blatantly blanked me. Yet this is someone whose sons have stayed at my house, and who has been welcomed into my home on countless occasions.I approached a mutual friend and discreetly enquired if Id made a faux pas. It seems the only crime Ive committed is not leaving the house with a bag over my head.She doesnt like me, I discovered, because she views me as a threat. The friend pointed out she is shorter, heavier and older than me.Blushing bride: Samantha on her wedding day, left, and right, at home with Pascal. She laments that not one of her girlfriends has ever asked her to be a bridesmaid perhaps from fear of being overshadowed by her looksAnd, according to our mutual friend, she is adamant that something could happen between her husband and me, were the right circumstances in place. Yet Im happily married, and have been for the past four years.This isnt the first time such paranoia has gripped the women around me. In my early 20s, when I first started in television as a researcher, one female boss in her late 30s would regularly invite me over for dinner after a long day in the office.I always accepted her invitation, as during office hours we got along famously. But one evening her partner was at home. We were all a couple of glasses of wine into the evening. Then he and I said we both liked the song we were listening to.She laid into her bewildered partner for fancying me, then turned on me, calling me unrepeatable names before ridiculing me for dying my hair and wearing lipstick. I declined any further invitations.Therapist Marisa Peer, author of selfhelp guide Ultimate Confidence, says that women have always measured themselves against each other by their looks rather than achievements and it can make the lives of the goodlooking very difficult.Many of my clients are models, yet people are always astounded when I explain they dont have it easy, she says. If you are attractive other women think you lead a perfect life which simply isnt true.Hard work: Samantha takes pride in her appearance. She works out even when she doesnt feel like it she doesnt drink, she doesnt smoke... and rarely does she succumb to chocolateThey dont realise you are just as vulnerable as they are. Its hard when everyone resents you for your looks. Men think whats the point, shes out of my league and dont ask you out. And women dont want to hang out with someone more attractive than they are.I certainly found that out the hard way, particularly in the office.One contract I accepted was blighted by a jealous female boss. It was the height of summer and Id opted to wear knee length, capsleeved dresses. They were modest, yet pretty more Kate Middleton than Katie Price.But my boss pulled me into her office and informed me my dress style was distracting her male employees. I didnt dare point out that there were other women in the office wearing similar attire.Rather than argue, I worked out the rest of my contract wearing baggy, sombrecoloured trouser suits. It was clear that when you have a female boss, its best to let them shine, but when you have a male boss, its a different game: I have written in the Mail on how I have flirted to get ahead at work, something Im sure many women do.Women, however, are far more problematic. With one phenomenally tricky boss, I eventually managed to carve out a positive working relationship. But a year in, her attitude towards me changed the deterioration began when she started to put on weight.We were both employed by a big broadcasting company. One of our male UK chiefs recommended I take the companys global leadership course, which meant doors would have opened for me around the world.All I needed were two personal recommendations to be eligible. As everyone in the office agreed I was good at my job, I didnt think this would be a problem.But while the male executive signed the paperwork without hesitation, my immediate boss refused to sign. When I asked her righthand woman why, she pulled me to one side and explained that my boss was jealous of me.Forced out: While Samantha has previously admitted to flirting to get ahead at work, she also says jealous female bosses have made some jobs so unbearable she has been forced to leaveThings between us rapidly deteriorated. Whenever I wore something new shed sneer at me in front of other colleagues that she was the star, not me.Six months later I handed in my notice. Privately she begged me to stay, blaming the nasty comments on her hormones. She was in her early 40s and confided she was having marital problems. But by then Id had enough.I find that older women are the most hostile to beautiful women perhaps because they feel their own bloom fading. Because my husband is ten years older than me, his social circle is that bit older too.As a Frenchman, he takes great pride in hearing other men declare that Im a beautiful woman and always tells me to laugh off bitchy comments from other women.I find dinner parties and social gatherings fraught and if I cant wriggle out of them, then often dress down in jeans and a demure, albeit pretty, topYet I dread the inevitable sarky comments. Here she comes. Were in the village hall yet Sams dressed for the Albert Hall, was one I recently overheard. As a result I find dinner parties and social gatherings fraught and if I cant wriggle out of them, then often dress down in jeans and a demure, albeit pretty, top.But even these ploys dont always work. Take last summer and a birthday party I attended with my husband. At one point the host, who was celebrating his 50th, decided he wanted a photo with all the women guests. Positioning us, the photographer suggested I stand immediately to his right for the shot.Another woman I barely knew pushed me out of the way, shouting it wasnt fair on all the other women if I was dominating the snap. I was devastated and burst into tears. On my own in the loos one woman privately consoled me well out of earshot of her girlfriends.So now Im 41 and probably one of very few women entering her fifth decade welcoming the decline of my looks. I cant wait for the wrinkles and the grey hair that will help me blend into the background.Perhaps then the sisterhood will finally stop judging me so harshly on what I look like, and instead accept me for who I am.Share or comment on this article
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Athlone McGinnisAthlone is a young man whose background gives him unique insight on sociological and cultural changes that are happening today.Most men, when questioned, would welcome the opportunity to date and marry an extremely beautiful woman. In fact, most men dream of precisely such a scenario this is why the trophy wife phenomenon exists.That being said, there is one question associated with this reality that we too rarely seem to ponder: how many men are really capable of handling a fulltime, committed relationship with a physically elite woman? Of all the men who dream of dating the models and beauty queens of the world, how many are truly capable of maintaining a healthy, longterm relationship with them?Recently, Andrew Stern showed us what the darker side of the relationship with the physically elite woman might look like :This picture reveals Andrew Stern, the estranged husband of model Katie Cleary, out partying with friends in Beverly Hills just hours before he went to a gun range and killed himself.Friends say he was in good spirits at the dinner at trendy DOMA Italian restaurant with about 15 friends, celebrating the birthday of one of them. The group went on to a club in Hollywood where a new DJ was spinning. A friend says Andrew wasnt drinking or doing any drugs.Andrew even posted a photo of him and some pals at the party on Saturday night on his facebook page. It was the last picture of the heartbroken husband.Just hours later at around midday on Sunday he turned a gun on himself at a shooting range in Van Nuys, 15 miles from the upmarket eatery.So, why did Stern off himself? What drove this affluent, goodlooking man to the edge (and, eventually, off the edge)?Speaking about his breakup with his wife, the source added Andrew was heartbroken:They have been separated for a few months. I dont know what happened. She was the one that wanted the divorce.I just knew her through Andrew. Its hard to tell when youre on the outside when they were last happy.I think he really was heartbroken, I dont know why she left him but I think he wanted to try to figure out how to make it work. He was so upset over it, he just could not get over it, he could not mentally move on.The source said the photos of Katie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Entourage star Adrian Grenier didnt help.Another friend told MailOnline that he was already on a dark descent when he realized he couldnt hold on to his dream girl.Andrew changed at the beginning of the year, the source told MailOnline. He worked more and socialized less. He began investing even more money and more time into his charity and fundraising work He got sad. Sadder.The friend explained that something was broken in him and no matter how he tried to fight it with eating well, exercise or counseling sessions he couldnt shake it.His struggling marriage to Cleary was not to blame for his suicide but just added to his pain because of the fantasy he had about their life together, the friend said.But the marriage wasnt based on pure, unadulterated, love. Wasnt solely based on the forever do us part love, the source said. He knew what he was getting into when he started even dating Katie. Shes too pretty. Shes just too pretty. And shes just too charismatic and affable and kind that Andrew knew he couldnt keep her to himself.Im not saying Katie did anything. If she did, I didnt know about it. But he couldnt really have her like he wanted her. Like his fantasy of her. He would talk about her in ideal terms. He idolized her and wanted her to himself, maybe a little too much. He wouldnt show it. He gave her all the freedom she wanted for her career. But he realized he wasnt the only one with eyes for her and wanting her and it deepened his pain.Stern had a few issues, and his involvement with Katie Cleary was certainly one of them. It is difficult to overstate how challenging it can be to get involved with a physically attractive woman like this who is also an extroverted, highly flirtatious and aggressive attention seeker. Women of this type have become substantially more common in the modern age, as narcissistic millenials grow up with the presence of social media and the smart phone, along with an increasingly less traditional culture more concerned with clubbing and what Justin Bieber ate for lunch than family formation. This is the beautiful woman who is so insecure about her beauty that she requires constant validation of it in the form of blatant attention from other men, and she will often directly seek out such attention herself. To some degree, this kind of woman will always value the attention of other random individuals more than she values the attention you give her.This is what makes her hard to be with, because she will constantly and aggressively solicit that attentionvalidation from other men and stoke your own insecurity in order to satiate her own. You will want her for yourself and youll have a vision of her in which she is ideally focused on building something with you, but she will eternally push back against that vision. If at any time you appear to be getting too close to that ideal you want (you two are starting to look like a set pair and she is starting to look like she is truly off the market and in your orbit entirely), she will adjust by deliberately seeking attention from other men in order to balance things out.She does this because she understands the risk associated with investing in you and allowing herself to become entirely yours: she needs the constant attention and validation of other men in order to deal with her insecurity, and this attention is less likely to come when she is seen to clearly belong to another male in a marriagerelationship. The more available she makes herself appear to be , the easier it is for her to satisfy her insecurity, and the harder it is for you as a man to deal with her.Andrew Stern was constantly ridiculed and driven to distraction by his flirtatious, social climbing wife Katie Cleary prior to his tragic suicide, a former friend has claimed.Now his former friend and housemate David Pachkofsky has told how Katie made Andrews life a living hell as she tried to change the downtoearth Midwesterner, 40, into a Hollywood type, using him to climb the social ladder and boost her career.Like going to a wrap party and not coming home, said Pachkofsky.She was taking him to a place he didnt want to go. The part of Hollywood life that she liked but is very superficial.He had to struggle to keep up with the Joneses. She would constantly ridicule him for the way he looked and acted and always let him know that he wasnt in good enough shape.He was never a really good dresser, and she made him dress perfectly for her. That was her doing. Drews always been comfortable in a Tshirt and really not caring. She was just so hard on him.She kept trying to create this image for him as handsome and virile to help uphold her image, Pachkofsky told MailOnline.She had a negative effect on him. He always felt like he was about to lose her and was always chasing her. She always flirted with men all the time in front of him and this hurt him.The more she pushed him away, the more hed come on. This was always the case with her and every woman. Just much worse with her because she was his wife and hed have to tolerate the pain on a whole other level. Shes a very flirtatious girl and it killed him.Hollywood dragged him down. Hollywood women did him in. And Katie was the worst of them. Very selfmotivated, a real climber, climbing up Drew to get to bigger stars. Men have only one real option when it comes to dealing with physically attractive women who must aggressively seek attention like this: limit emotional investment.These women (physically attractive women who are aggressive attention seekers) inflict the most damage on men who have made deep emotional investments in them and are seeking some sort of romantic reciprocity. The physically attractive woman who isnt an aggressive attentionseeker (yes, they do exist, even today) will not punish you for this, but her more attentionhungry counterpart will. When hes invested and she responds by seeking the attention of other men and intentionally failing to reciprocate, it can be devastating for the male involved. He will want her, and he will love her, but shell never allow him to have her, and that will hurt. The notion that she is instead possibly allowing other men to have her (implied by her direct efforts to seek and welcome their attention even as she pulls away from him) will simply crush his soul. He will be left with a very empty, dark feeling, and arrive at one of the most hopeless emotional states you can ever hope to reach as a man.When you avoid investing emotionally in these women, you essentially cut this dynamic off at the knees. Her persistent attention seeking will bother you less because youve not invested too much emotionally in her, and can thus feel little envy or jealousy. The fact that she is less willing to respond to a mans expressed love and romantic investment with reciprocation is irrelevant to you, because youre not offering too much romantic investment. At the end of the day, the physically attractive woman who aggressively seeks attention exercises great control over the emotional, physical and psychological wellbeing of the men that invest too much emotionally in her (investment which, I must note, she depends on to some degree in order to feed her validation). She cannot control those men who do not make this investment.If you want to deal with these women and give yourself the best chance to remain sane, you limit that emotional investment. Granted, this is easier said than done as such women are very good at drawing that emotional investment from the men they associate with (they need to be because, as I said earlier, they depend on that investment for validation).Men like Andrew Stern are simply not equipped to handle this kind of situation. Sterns emotional fragility likely made him prone to intense early emotional investment Cleary was his dream girl, and had total control over him from the word go as a result. As a physically elite woman with an aggressive attentionseeking streak, Cleary was going to get a lot of looks from a lot of men. If youre seeking to get with such a woman, you must be confident and secure enough to deal with the fact that a lot of other men have eyes for her and keep that reality from impacting you (read: making you anxious, nervous, depressed, scared to lose her, etc). The type of man that can handle Cleary is one who is not only very confident and secure in himself, but not overly emotionally invested in her either (to a point at which she cannot easily control him). Such a man is, essentially, the oak I referenced in this article .Andrew Stern was not that oak. He was, as his close friend described himDrew was a goodlooking guy. No problem getting girls but he had a problem keeping them. He likes to keep to himself. Very quiet and kind of a nerdy guy with a big heart and super nice.precisely the kind of man that a woman like Cleary would not struggle to control. Her attentionseeking personality combined with her beauty and his decent but very quiet, introverted nature (and likely propensity to put a lot of emotional investment in fairly early, as most nice, introverted guys do) made for a very unhealthy combination. As a man who once perfectly fit the description of Stern above, and probably still does to some extent, I speak from experience when I say that this relationship was bound to implode before long and that Stern was certain to get the worst of it.Quintus Curtius described his situation well in a forum thread discussing Sterns story:Overall, I think the overriding problem here was this guy himself. I dont really see this woman as being any more or less conniving or devious than any other beautiful woman. Her selfish, domineering, and entitled behavior is about what you would expect. He should have known what he was getting.Of course, a more nurturing, caring type would have been just the ticket for this poor soul. He was so wound up with performing like a organgrinder monkey for everyone: in his work, job, home, office, whatever. He had no identity of his own. He was a slave to what others thought of him.He was empty inside because his entire life was focused on false status, on collecting trophies, and on impressing everyone around him. Everyone but himself.Because he could fool everyone but himself. At the end of the day, he had to look at himself in the mirror. And all he saw was a scared rat.From looking at his eyes, his demeanor, and overall presentation, its clear that he has some psychological problems. He is a deeply insecure, flawed person. Others have noted here that he likely was medicated. Or heavily medicated.This should be another cautionary tale to us to remember that material things (women, money, cars, businesses, etc) cant fill the inner void that a man feels. Men are not mechanical contrivances.We cant just be wound up and sent on our way like Energizer bunnies. To sustain us, we need something deeper, more profound, something that comes from within.And this person never cultivated his own identity. His entire identity was built around his material possessions: his toys, his money, his useless trophy wife.He who doesnt spend his time to develop his identity and inner strengths, but instead wastes his energy chasing Rolex watches, trophy wives, expensive cars, and other meaningless things, can expect nothing but pain and selfdestruction.And once his biggest trophy (his wife) was pulled out from under him, he had no further reason to live. There are many men like this today, floating around, their chests puffed up with false arrogance, that one pinprick of hardship will deflate.Stern may have been best served avoiding women like Cleary altogether he couldnt handle her without making some serious improvements on a personal level, and he was merely a means to an end for her (a goodlooking, easily manipulated ticket to a lifestyle she simply couldnt afford otherwise).As Scorpion noted on the forum:The girl is a hard 9 (touching 9.5 or even 10 depending on individual taste) with a strong personality and a desire to climb the social ladder. Women like that should come with a extreme bodily harm warning label, because they will fuck you up bad if you arent careful. She is the equivalent of handing a 16 year old kid a bottle of Everclear and a Ferrari.This guy was just in way over his head. He managed to get his hands on way more woman than he was capable of handling. And just like in any other area of life, when you get in over your head bad things usually happen.Sterns story carries important lessons for any young male concerned with romantic selfimprovement. It is one thing to seek relationships with very beautiful women, but it is another thing entirely to do so absent any consideration of what you bring to the table . If you want to have beautiful women in your life, you had best make sure that you are the kind of man capable not only of attracting them, but keeping them around.If you take the time to ensure that you have made and maintained these necessary improvements, these women could bring a lot of value to your life. Youll have the chance to meet you dream girl and actually build a healthy longterm relationship with her.If you fail to ensure that these improvements have been made, your pursuit of your dream girl will destroy you emotionally (just as it destroyed Stern and many others), and any significant association you have with said dream girland probably most other girlswill become a nightmare sooner or later. Dont put yourself in that position.